Considering my last entry is titled spring break, its safe to say i havent posted anything in about a year... So where to start? I feel like so much has happend in the past year but theres no possible way to be able to sum it all up in a livejournal comeback entry in any decent amount of time (or is there???). But fuck it. If you're a friend you probably already know the what i've been up to and what's been up with me. Soo... on with the post.
I've been on SpringBreak 08' for the past five days, and have been sick since day one. nevertheless it's still sweet. Just a chance to hangout with all my best friends, not worry about school work (although i should), and just overall enjoy the downtime. I feel like i never get enough of that but at the same time i wonder "what the fuck am i doing all the time?" & "where is all this time and energy going if I'm not happy and seeing the rewards or benefits it has to offer?". Thats definitely a reoccurring theme with me. I never seem to know what I'm doing. I know what i want but for some reason i have trouble actually putting my ambitions into action or motion. Maybe i just need to set better goals. Who knows. I wanna focus on staying more positive and optimistic about things.
another quick thing to mention thats pretty much a daily constant is: RELATIONSHIPS
Just want to say this time around relationships have thrown me for a fucking loop. Not in a bad way. But in a good learning kind of way. The past half year has been amazing. Just figuring out more things about myself than i really thought possible. All because of this one girl. Don't get me wrong, Its not perfect. Not even close. But i feel it could be.. I've felt that at so many points of us being together. She gives me something no other girl has, and im appreciative for it. Maybe its love, maybe its a newfound knowledge, maybe its a new experience or just all of the above. Nonetheless She's amazing. And even if things dont go to plan, i can still be thankful for that.
As for tomorrow...
Hopefully if everything goes to plan tomorrow i will be riding bikes over in Worchester with Shawny hold up. I havent rode in a couple months and Its well overdue. With the turn of a new season I'm thoroughly pumped to get back on my bike and hopefully get back to the initial reasons as to why i hoped on a bike in the first place. For the love and passion of riding, and a way to relax, vent and put my positive and negative energy into something productive. After that hopefully there will be a friends night in the bean. I think were going to PAPER or Campus. They both have their perks. Either way dancing will be done, laughs will occur, and friends will be friends. As for the rest of my break from Friday - Sunday? Most likely staying in Boston but I'm hanging loose. I have work that needs to get done, but besides that I'm going to leave everything pretty up in the air. So... if you're reading this and want to do something, this is as good a time as any to pick up you're phone, hit me up, and make some plans. Anything. Seriously. Im down for whatever.
Its way later than i planned to stay up tonight but its already done, so I'm going to bed.
I'm fed up with being stressed out. granted most of the blame can be placed on myself for that considering i always push things off and procrastanate like a fucking asshole. So heres the delema...
i have TWO art history midtermson thursday: a. Art History of the Western Worlds b. History of Modern Design
so ive been playing with my dick all semester, and havent payed attention to ANYTHING. so its safe to say im learning everything in each course in a 2 day span.
if only there was a way to get a hold of the actual test before it happens... (this seems like something to exert some postive energy into)
I am not the same kid i was before i met tricia. I dont regret anything about it. I'd just like to see where i'd be now if it never happend.
worked my 2 lame jobs almost all day today and had mad homework on top of it. Didnt even get all my work done, so that just means i need to wake up earlier and hurry to school so i can go print. WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT??
i hate waking up early and i hate being unprepared
School's always taking up my time, but its ok. it's my excuse to not grow up yet. I work but for what? i dont really buy anything, im just constantly paying off bills, and it sucks not having anything to show for it but an apt in the city, that i spend hours sleeping in just to leave every morning (routine,reapeat,start over). its gay but what isnt. My room has never really felt like my room, but it's a place for me to comeback to, so who am i to dwell on a vibe.
Music: i wanna play bass in a band. thats what i like to do in my spare time. Play bass. it really mellows me out, and i think i have alot of good stuff written. so if anyone reads this and wants to jam or start a band hit me up on the low, not through a comment. Vandelay is now a "for fun" thing. cool... i guess? i really wanted to finish recording, and finish writting stuff (not to say it wont be done) but its deffinently going to be MIA for a while. I'm sill not sure where i stand with this one.
Girls: Same thing they've been to me since third grade. HOE'S. but im always ganna love em. And theyre always ganna be my achilles heel. And until im completly happy with my own current situations, and being happy with myself, no girls ganna be the answer to any problem i may have, unless im tryin to get a nut off. (sry but TRUTH) This isnt to say that im not looking for a girlfriend. I'm just not lookin to mess around with bitches, and have pointless encounter after pointless encounter.
i got class from 9:20-12:20 tomorrow, and i got to work 2 jobs after that. 3 if you count dealing with impatient niggers on the phone through out the day. Its almost the weekend. whats good for it?
i hate the waiting game. because somewhere inbetween waiting and knowing, are these thoughts that haunt your head, sticking around like a bad taste in your mouth. i taste this far too often. i over think things too much, and maybe thats what holds me back. or maybe its just my inability to act on what im actually thinking?
im sick of seeing you change, even though in your eyes your probably unaware. its the girl thats making you crazy. get your fucking head straight. you dont need this, you dont need her, just admit your not ready to give up the ghost. thats all i want to hear.
alright so i told you about the fast eddie sub. now here it is
im in class right now, bored as shit.. but that dosent mean i cant still get down.
YEAHHHH!
oh yeah, by the way, during this class my computer broke. It signed me off the internet, shut off, and wont go on. AWESOME. so now im using the schools laptop which sucks but whatever, just means i need to go to the apple store later today.
i really wanna lighten my bike up, so im getting rid of the fat chain and fat claw, and basicly redoing my bike all over. im phyched. i got a rediculous sub today
Bread: mozerella sticks, french fries, cheese, and marinara sauce. its called a fast eddie. and its less then 3 blocks away from me.... damn that shits tight
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xhopingtragedyx's journal
sick
relaxed
stressed
tired
hungry
im fed the fuck up
artistic
drunk
anxious
high